Icing your strudel is an interestingly intimate moment between the left and right sides of your brain. Both sides must work together in an attempt to achieve maximum icing flavor. It’s okay, admit it. Every time you pull that golden pastry from its hell-fire cage, you carefully pull back one corner of the only thing separating you and frosting nirvana. You plan it so carefully, you know what must be done to construct those perfect roads of icing, fit for a snowy mountain side.

But you screw it up. You don’t want to believe it, but your strudel will always look like one of the above. Go ahead, Google it. I’ll even Google it for you… All of these. ALL of these are the sad, pitiful results of the 5 Stages of Pastry.

Also, Mass Effect 3 this Tuesday. You should probably play it. If you don’t hear from us, that’s because we are playing it. And you should be too.

Toaster Strudel Pop-Tarts
Can be
eaten cold
X
Already
frosted
X
Doesn’t have
to be frozen
X
Tastes good
microwaved
X
Convenient X
Has sprinkles X
Insides wont
drip out
X
Jesus’
favorite food
X